The Pounders
The far left's war on democracy Digg this.
Tironius posted this story Monday, July 28, 2008

The “left” don’t want racially motivated hiring practices and preferences on the ballot because they know which way the wind is blowing. When the democratic process precludes your agenda, what do you do?

Read more of “The Far Left’s War on Direct Democracy - WSJ.com ”The key to defeating the initiative is to keep it off the ballot in the first place,” says Donna Stern, Midwest director for the Detroit-based By Any Means Necessary (BAMN). ”That’s the only way we’re going to win.”[1]1. Emphasis added here.

Mz. Stern understands the flimsy foundation upon which her entire argument stands: If a) her initiative is a just cause and b) the majority of people agree, then she would welcome the chance to vote and cement her side into law. But that isn’t the case here. The principled left prefers to keep things out of that pesky democracy thing, and put them in the branch of government they think should be used for matters of legislation — the judicial system.

Going to a hooker in Korea Digg this.
Tironius posted this story Friday, July 18, 2008

The Shadowy
Underside of Korea

Pounders blogger has personal experience with the oldest profession, in South Korea

By Marquis D. Sade

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It’s a March Friday and I have been pacing for an hour in the cold night outside a nondescript stairwell between two empty buildings in South Korea. Twin red-white-and-blue barber poles spin furiously just outside the black corridor between the buildings. I have circled this block ten times now, still lacking the courage to walk down those stairs. What if it’s just a barbershop? Nonsense. Barbershops aren’t open at 12:30 A.M.

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What if it’s expensive? — What if they don’t cater to foreigners? — Finally, I’ve never done this before. Round and round the barber pole in my mind spins, only to end up again at What if it’s just a barbershop?

I circle the block once more killing another ten minutes.

The stairwell again. My heart is a rib-ramming fist. Inside: a pungent cocktail of terror, teen-ish intrigue and curiosity. Outside: two barber poles and a taunting stairwell.

I’m inching my way sideways down the stairs now—my back to the wall and my palms soaked. My heart is an earthquake. I crane my neck to see the bottom of the stairwell. A glass shop door stands completely opaqued by a pink vinyl decal save for a five-by-eight inch rectangle. I knock softly with a trembling hand. At first, nothing. Then, like a magic-eight-ball , a woman’s ghostly face floats through the inky black to the small pane. She examines me with a polite smile before letting me in.

In the dim parlor I see her murky apparition. She is frosty pale with hair just blacker than the rambling catacombs of the brothel. * Visage (‘vizij) » noun [usu. in sing. ] poetic/literary » a person’s face, with reference to the form or proportions of the features. She is maybe 38, but her visage* seems older. Painted toenails in cheap flip-flops join two frosty white legs that disappear under a pair of pink silk shorts ringed with black lace. † Camisole (‘kameh-sole) » noun » a woman’s loose-fitting undergarment for the upper body, typically held up by shoulder straps and having decorative trimming. Above a matching camisole† hovers her face, punctured by two completely black, mascara encrusted eyes.

Almost apologetically she motions to the slippers by the door and then disappears behind a curtain to a nearby room. Two low whispers carry through the womb-like brothel. In a television’s flickering blue light I can make out a large space filled with random furniture covered in bed sheets.

“Zing!” the curtain slides back revealing the whore in pink leaning over a sofa talking with an obese woman in a huge T-shirt. The fat woman glances over her shoulder to size me up, mutters something to the whore and then returns to watching her soap opera at a near-mute volume.

“W60,000,” ‡‡ $60 USD the soft-spoken prostitute informs me on her return. She counts the bills and then hands them to the sow behind the curtain.

“Do you want a massage or — (crude palm fist gesture indicating sex)?”

I mimic the palm and fist gesture.

“This way.” She motions.

A chilling thought enters as I follow her through labyrinthine underground brothel: Is that woman her pimp?

We pass two dark, curtained rooms with doctors’ tables and hand showers. The rooms appear completely water-proof with drains in the floor. How large is this place? I wonder. I trail her, adolescently gawking at her trashy shorts shifting in the dark. My cock is hard with fear and lust when she stops. There, at the end of a shadowy and narrow hallway is a small ten-by-ten foot room with a weak red incandescent bulb and a short curtain door.

She utters something in Korean and motions for me to undress. How much do I undress? Is this where we have sex? But before I can ask she has already disappeared again. Lying naked and paralyzed on a cotton floor mat, I gaze at the office-like drop ceiling in the pale red glow. In another room, I can hear her rummaging through cabinets and boxes. A sink runs then stops. I can’t help but be reminded of that awkward wait between assistant and dentist.

She closes the draw curtains behind her and kneels into the room. This time she brings with her a couple of plastic tubs similar to the ones in the shower rooms. Two steaming white towels accompany a condom and two plastic bottles. Frozen, I listen to her alien chit-chat.

“‘I like Americans — they are kind to women.’ The comment’s irony isn’t lost on me.”

Squatting near me, she begins to scrub my cock with the hot wet towels. For me it’s an awkward elephant in the room; for her, an occupational hazard. Next, she removes her flimsy dime store lingerie with an almost masculine crudity—unabashedly exposing her brown anus as she bends over to step out of her pantyless shorts.

I endure a joyless blowjob, while examining her soft body — soft from a life of lying in a cot and waiting to be bought. § Warren » noun (also rabbit warren) » a network of interconnecting rabbit burrows. • a densely populated or labyrinthine building or district : a warren of narrow gas-lit streets. • Brit., historical an enclosed piece of land set aside for breeding game, esp. rabbits. A ceaseless existence, spent here, in this warren §, sleeping and being slept with. A condom package snatches me from my daydream.

Now underneath me, she spreads her limp legs revealing a hairless cunt. Her breasts slide limply over her bony ribcage. My mind drifts to an old lover who had a rather loose yet shallow pussy. The whore’s pink eraser nipples are rubbing my chest. Before long, I am filling her with jets of semen.

We attempt some limited small talk while dressing. In a dreamy opiate haze, she tells me she wants to see America someday. I tell her she should do it — but somehow we both know it’s fantasy. But who is the trick to call the whore deluded?

Back at my shoes she compliments me on my penis-size. “I like Americans — they are kind to women.” The comment’s irony isn’t lost on me.

At a different stair, she pats me on the rear and tells me to come again. I exit the plain metal door at the top and step outside to find myself in a completely different building on the street above—nothing to suggest that I just emerged from a brothel.

How clever. How thoughtful.

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Economist: When you factor for interest rates, new iPhone cheaper Digg this.
Tironius posted this story Sunday, July 13, 2008

An economist [1] 1 From David Pogue’s blog, an economist emails the reporter about these calculationsfactors interest rates into the mathematics regarding the new iPhone-AT&T plan’s overall cost. He contends the rates make iPhone 3G more appealing.

“Read more here.”This makes a big difference to the comparison of the two plans because, in the old plan, you pay $200 more UP FRONT, whereas in the new plan, you pay $10 more each month over two years. In fact, for reasonable interest rates, the NEW PLAN IS CHEAPER.

iPhone 3G fell out the fugly tree, hit every branch Digg this.
Tironius posted this story Sunday, July 13, 2008

Picture 1

Look at this picture, does anyone else thing that the new iPhone child looks like its mother was a heavy drinker? It’s ugly — and big. IPhone 3G has a girth problem, much like dad after 50 years of drinking. Look at the sides, it looks to have about a full centimeter of total added width. Compare to the slim, sleek, beautiful iPhone original. The curves. The lines. I don’t need the new iPhone. I don’t want the new iPhone. I don’t. Who said I did? No one, that’s who. No one! I don’t want it! Die! It’s a work of fucking art. Oh, the 3G wobbles when you have it flat on a table and your pushing buttons on its fat face. For hermits like me who never leave the silky, satisfying glow of his wifi halo, iPhone 1G is fine with me. The 2.0 firmware is fantastic. The new remote control Apple created makes me a god in my own home. And Super Monkey Ball is my new heroine.

There's a vine in my virginny, dear Liza, dear Liza Digg this.
Tironius posted this story Wednesday, July 09, 2008

“8 Crazy Stories From The ER at DailyStrength” 4) An elderly woman came into the ER complaining she had green vines in her “virginny”. A pelvic exam verified that she did have a six-inch vine growing out of her vagina, and x-rays revealed it was growing from a potato in her vaginal vault.

She explained that her uterus was falling out, so she put a potato in there to hold it up and had forgotten. (Another uterine prolapse. Remember to do your Kegel’s, ladies.)

Most obnoxious tourists? The French Digg this.
Tironius posted this story Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Americans aren’t so bad: the worst tourists in the world according to a poll at Time magazine, the French.

“Most Obnoxious Tourists? The French -- TIME” Overall, French travelers landed 19th out of 21 nations worldwide, far behind the first-place Japanese, considered the most polite, quiet and tidy. Following the Japanese as most-liked tourists were the Germans, British and Canadians. Americans finished in 11th place alongside the Thais.

Not surprisingly, as it said in that quote, the best tourists — and really, human beings — are the Japanese.

No turn-by-turn for new iPhone 3G owners Digg this.
Tironius posted this story Tuesday, July 08, 2008

“State of the Art - For iPhone, the ‘New’ Is Relative - NYTimes.com” Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do with the G.P.S. According to Apple, the iPhone’s G.P.S. antenna is much too small to emulate the turn-by-turn navigation of a G.P.S. unit for a vehicle, for example.

This is big news, surprising more people haven’t picked up on this. People, I think, expected that some company — if not Apple — would arrive to the party with a turn-by-turn navigation application. Guess not. Could, however, an antenna system’s signal from a third party be fed into the iPhone’s dock connection?

TV switch like 'dictatorship' says Bertha Digg this.
Tironius posted this story Sunday, July 06, 2008

Bertha Graham compares her TV signal switched to digital to what Cubans experience under their dictatorship.

“Some Press for More Notice of Transition in TV — NYTimes.com”

“You would expect this stuff in Cuba, the places where there is a dictatorship,” Ms. Graham said. “You shouldn’t have to buy converter boxes or do whatever they say to do. You should be able to use what you’ve got.”

The government is paying my tax money to people so they can continue their couch-potatohood.

The Dark Knight pictures Digg this.
Tironius posted this story Sunday, July 06, 2008

The Dark Knight

“The Dark Knight Pictures — Rotten Tomatoes” Rotten tomatoes has some pictures of The Dark Knight.

I'm a bitter gun owner and I vote Digg this.
Tironius posted this story Saturday, July 05, 2008
Vote signs Original article: “Grassroots Activism”

By now, you’ve all heard the Barack Obama “bitter” quote:  “And it’s not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.” … Well, we’ve created a new yard sign that will send a message from all of you “bitter” gun owners to Obama this election season with our own slogan: “I’m a Bitter Gun Owner and I Vote!”

BNL corporation’s hilarious, yet important, website Digg this.
Tironius posted this story Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Picture 1

The Buy n Large corporation, the makers of the Wend•E WashBot (seen here) and the Wall•E waste disposal unit maintains a website for all its customers to share in its current happenings. “BNL, because the family that pays together, stays together!” BNL is, according to its website, a leading provider of robots that do things we humans “were never really meant to do,” like “lawn mowing” and “political decision making.” On its corporate news website, stories include, “Buy n Large Economic Science was awarded the prestigious Buy n Large Consumer Science Merit medal…,” and (in health news) “Men Shop as Much as women.”

Official: Immigration crackdown pushes down crime Digg this.
Tironius posted this story Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Radical liberals maintain that a high crime rate still exists among Mexicans, but goes unreported.

“Official: Immigration crackdown pushes down crime” — Dailypress.com

County board Chairman Corey Stewart says the decrease is due to the resolutions cracking down on illegal immigrants in the county.

The Pounders
Original Articles

Articles from jury duty in San Francisco, trannies on bus rides, to Korean prostitutes, every original article and cartoon written at The Pounders is found here.

The Shadowy Underside of Korea

Back at my shoes [the hooker] compliments me on my penis size. “I like Americans — they are kind to women.” The comment’s irony isn’t lost on me.

Our field reporter experiences Korea’s oldest profession.

iWeb Tutorial:
Create Aqua Buttons

Photoshop is overkill; use iWeb to more easily create aqua buttons like those in OS X.

The Cat Came Back

She was devoutly religious – fanatically so, but she had the habit of wearing a mid-thigh length army camouflage mini-skirt that seemed to scream “Someone, anyone, please fuck me!”

Blogger Kurippi get’s his comeuppance when a sexploit goes awry in Korea.

K-Line Colamite

“I got on and sat my beautiful glutes in a row of two unused seats facing forward, taking the window seat. It’s a good thing, too, because a perfectly poundable Asian pussy rested its lips on the seat next to me.”

10,010% Success

Are you tired of living a 90% awesome life? Or are you one the lucky few whose life is just ‘mega-awesome.’ (yawn.) Well get ready to blow awesome and mega-awesome away with my newest book and CD series.

Night With BG

So I looks around, to see if it’s clear.
Then I says, “damn girl, it’s gettin hot in here.”
I pull down my draws, unfold my lollypop,
Lean in and whisper, “I’ll tell you when to stop.”

Set to Warren G’s ‘Regulate,’ blogger Bang Ganger sets the defiling of a woman’s body to rhyme.

Trip to N Korea

The DMZ itself is infested with landmines and anyone trying to make it across would not make it very far. Covered in guard towers on both sides, you often find yourself being watched by N Korean soldiers.

Pounders blogger Kurippi visits the border of North-South Korea, trips and falls into communism.

‘Pounder’ Redefined

At The Big Word Project — to match what we do in real life — we have redefined the word “pounder.”