Your untapped 10,010% success life

Are you tired of living a 90% awesome life? Or are you one the lucky few whose life is just ‘mega-awesome.’ (yawn.) Well get ready to blow awesome and mega-awesome away with my newest book and CD series “Your Untapped 10,010% Success Life” & “Your Unlimited, Ultimate Mega-Power: The Beast Within.”

“Mr. 19’s course taught me how to turn my abusive relationship into a lucrative internet-based business. 10,010% Success!!”

Tony Robbins is ok, if you are content with being merely successful or simply wealthy. But if you are not content with just 400% success in your life, then it is time that you stepped up to the plate with Mr. 19’s Newest and Hardest-Hittingest Series to date, “Your Untapped 10,010% Success Life” & “Your Unlimited, Ultimate Mega-Power: The Beast Within.”

Who is Mr. 19? and Why Do I Need to Buy his Moderately Priced Book and CD Series? Just like you, Mr. 19 was a real nobody. Born and raised in a small midwestern town he was just living a 91% awesome life — a hand-me-down life that his parents gave him. Then, one day, while standing in a field for what appears to be no apparent reason at all, he leaned on his pitchfork and watched the son going down and heard the voice of God himself come through the heavens. Suddenly a billion, no two billion million electric guitars started whailing and the words came to him: “10,010%- ultra mega success!” and “Totally awesome mega-life!” From that point on, he was no longer content with awesome, bored by fantastic, and rolled his eyes at anything less than “Super-mega-power-awesome!”

That dream is now a reality. “Your Untapped 10,010% Success Life” & “Your Unlimited, Ultimate Mega-Power: The Beast Within” is here!!!

In this unique program you will learn:

• How to harness your inner mega-success beast
• 15 Secrets to Mind-Blowing Power-Happiness (C)
• 200 Weakness Busters and Wimp Blasters
• The 4 sins of ‘just’ awesome living.
• How to Achieve your personal 1,000% then 8,500% and finally 10,000% no, 10,010% MEGA SUCCESS!!!

As an added bonus you will receive:

• The M19 Powerstone- scientifically proven to increase positive energy emission by 400,000%
• Mr. 19’s dailing inspirational calendar: Your Flippin’ Powerful Life Now!
• Tickets for you and a loved one to the “ULTRA MEGA SUCCESS NOW SEMINAR”
• One Black muscle-T for the “Bustin’ out” exercise in Chapter 6 of the program.

“After taking Mr. 19’s course, my income increased from $1,390 a month to a whopping $45,900. And now that amount doubles ever minute! I love Mr. 19!!”

“Mr. 19’s course taught me how to turn my abusive relationship into a lucrative internet-based business. 10,010% Success!!”

“[Mr. 19’s] course taught me how to reach down and tap my inner power self and break through 25 years of just luke-warm ‘awesomeness.’ Now, I am officially mega-awesome and I wake up screaming every morning. Screaming!”

“I just don’t sleep anymore now. Just can’t.”

*Offer prohibited in the loser state of Rhode Island, where only 900% personal success is legal.

These are just a few of the 100’s of trillions of people my course has helped. Don’t you owe it to yourself to try it? —Mr. 19.

BLOG ONLY OFFER! Entire Course and Free Seafood Dinner- Only $119.95 (+Mega handling and Success Shipping.)*

Labels: Best of

In teaching English to sweet Asians -- who by the way own sweet Asian pussy -- I have many, many times wondered from where the origin of these phrases we speak arrive. As a nerd, myself (and I know Mr. Lexicon [Mr.19] and Grammar Nazi [Q-Pounder] will be interested to some extent), I have even dreamed of making my own database of etymology and literal meanings for people to refer. And, I would have made it, too, if not for my rampant laziness and scabbed-over herpes.

But now, my dreams have been answered. Sample:

“Tongue in cheek”

This phrase clearly alludes to the facial expression created by putting one's tongue in one's cheek. This induces a wink (go on - try it), which has long been an indication that what is being said is to be taken with a pinch of salt. It may have been used to suppress laughter. 'Tongue in cheek' is the antithesis of the later phrase - 'with a straight face'. --The Phrase Finder

One of the highlights of my existence is to know the man behind the pseudonym “Q–Pounder.” Q, by the way, was the brilliant man to come to this esteemed club’s name, The Asian Pussy Pounders. Having known Q for the better part of six years, one of his endearing traits is his lack of impulse control combined with absolutely no basis in grounded reality in his ideas, or “schemes,” as I like to call them, very similar to Lucy Ricardo from I Love Lucy.

Every couple of months or so, Q’s friends will be told the latest plan for riches and human-betterment that usually require much more know-how or infrastructure one ex-LSD tripping college student can provide. We would never think to cage such a free spirit with our “reality” and “common sense,” but rather enjoy the unabashed, unrestrained enthusiasm to each novel idea put forth by our colleague, the esteemed Q–Pounder.

[Quick history: Q–Pounder has multiple undergraduate degrees and one master’s degree from an esteemed midwestern university. He is currently pounding Chinese pussy in mainland China. He is married to said pussy and forever shackled to its labia.] And without further adieu, I give you the best-of list, The Crazy Schemes of Q–Pounder. They are funny because they are absolutely real.

Within the coarse of six years, Q–Pounder has pushed to us the idea of…

1. Bringing an infrastructure of healthcare to the nation of China, pitting one college student against the entire communist regime.
2. Opening a fitness gymnasium in Japan, because that country lacks in such.
3. Building a system of CDs or tapes or reading materials that encompass a framework of mnemonic devices for the aid in memory and learning of the Japanese language.
4. A website for anti-social, culture-jamming endeavors entitled Post Modern Play.
5. A grass-roots, no-budget video game wherein college friends would quit their endeavors in academia to live in China for one year for said game’s development, as well as the gathering of Chinese locals as cheap labor to aid in this course.
6. Building a one- or two-man public relations operation.
7. An educational role playing video game to teach the wonderment of socio-economical discourse, with little thought to what it would take to program such a system
8. Homemade board games
9. Homemade variant on the game of Chinese chess; in fairness, this came into fruition and was played by Q–Pounder and Q’s friends and family.
10. A variation on the number one scheme: to build specifically a cancer clinic in Guonzhou, China

Had to take a computer out to a lady's car as that is one of the services our store provides. It's a service I'm always willing to perform: I get to stretch the ol' legs and go outside into the sunshine helping some old lady or cripple out with their computer. Fun times.

But this lady, the one in the story I shall tell -- right now -- was a psychobitch deluxe.

Guys, imagine the awkwardness and frustration of going to the spot you swore you parked your car but it wasn't there. Imagine that you knew you parked in the garage on level 3 and you go up and down the stairs more than once looking for the car that is not on level 3.

Now imagine you're the idiot lugging a sixty-pound computer behind her. For forty minutes I was carrying her PowerMac G4 "Quicksilver" behind her while she looked for her car.

Cunt.